Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Paso Robles...

I woke up at about 6 in the morning on Saturday to prepare for a day of wine tasting in Paso Robles. Tony his brother Chuck and I drove over and picked up Steve and we started our way on the 101 northbound. Now having been to many wineries in Paso before, Tony and I basically were planning on giving a guided tour our the inexperienced guests, however by the end of this trip We had been givin a tour of moral grounds lower than we had thought possible.

Our first winery for the day was Eagle Castle. The lazy fuckers that run the winery hadnt finished opening yet, so I helped myself to some grapes off of the vine and brought them back to the car to munch on until they opened. The owner is fuckin rich, Eagle Castle has probably one of the most impressive wine tasting rooms I've ever seen, it is designed after a castle, complete with a moat and statues, however I cant speek so highly of the actual wine. While speaking with the girls behind the counter we decided on our next winery Fratelli Perata. Here they only do tasting by appointment, so we called and gave them notice.

One dirt road later we are being followed a beamer as we pull up to fratelli perata. Inside we found an old lady standing behind a mini sized wine bar. A blond girl that had gotten out of the BMW walked up and started introducing me to her husband, after the confusion passed Tony whispered in my ear that I had met her three weeks prior at Steve's place. The glasses were all layed out and we began our tasting. Fratelli Perata proved to be the best winery that I've been to in Paso Robles.

It was then that we decided to visit Zinada, It was pretty boring therre since Tony and I have tasted there 3 times now, but they still rank verry highly on my list. At this place I began to notice a pattern, that blond girl "Laryssa" would mention which wines to buy, and for some reason her husbund would have no input.

Hunt Cellars was the next winery on our list, the owner is an eccentric blind man who hires poor assholish wine snobbs to work his winery and doesnt give industry discounts for his overpriced wine. The wine wasn't worth contemplating but at this point Chuck's comments were. After this winery I belive that Chuc will be the next Keunu Reaves.

We headed next door from Hunt to Danoti to find an overcrowded circus of wine fiends flooding the place. they should just calle Opollo and Danati "Opolattti" becasue they were so similar im using one paragraph to describe both of them. the only thing distinguishing the two was how dirty the porta potties were at Opollo.

After Apollo we decided to drive back toward the 101 on peachy canyon road. The first winery we came apon was called Minassion Young. This place had one killer view and one smart dog. We played frisbe with the dog outside for like 15 minutes before we went in. As we were tasting a pourer/winemaker from the next winery walked in to visit. As we tasted and chatted we were oblivous to the social experiment we were about to encounter.
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You wanna die? follow my directions: have your drunk wife drive you down a curvey back county road at 50 miles an hour and hang out of the sunroof to flip the world off. At this point in time logic unlocked its gates and let us pass. We were waiting for a tree branch to hit the fucker but he made it alive and luckly his wife didnt crash the beamer into us, It had been a close call...
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We found our way to the next winery, but with great suprize we found that there was no pourer to tend to us, Hmmm I wonder where the fuck she went? This situation reminded me of kindergardners left in a classroom with a bowl of candy and no teacher.... We downed two or three bottles of wine broke two glasses and Laryssa ended up stealing two bottles before we fled.

videoChronic was our next winerey, I dont realy rmember much but there was a good view, and Chuc did barrel rolls in a chair. twaz tight.