It had all begun with innocent intentions, it would be a day of wine tasting delight. Tony and I had planned on going wine tasting at Sanford winery at the wine ghetto in Lompoc, but first we had to hunt down one of the most elusive of workout supplements in the world, "blast cycle". We made it to GNC where they explained to us that the entire GNC chain dropped the product after a number of deaths, So, seeing that we had failed on this front we decided to find something to eat before we went twine tasting to help absorb some of the alcohol. We stepped into the Mexican place next to GNC on a brave voyage to into the unknown.
As we left after consuming our seemingly edible food, we both discovered quickly that something had gone terribly wrong. As we drove up toward Cottonwood Canyon Winery, we both sunk to a new low in mental productivity and by the time we got there we had the intelligent of restarted 3 year old girls. Our goal there was to retrieve Tony's business cards which would eliminate any expenses from out wine tasting journey, but tony was overwhelmed by an excruciating desire to take a shit. After he was done we left to drive toward the winery we would be tasting at, only to realize 30 minutes later that tony couldn't find his fucking business cards.
We stopped the car, got out, looked everywhere, nothing. At this point I was beginning to feel the effect of the Mexican food, we turned around to go back to the winery but I knew that my time was limited. As we got closer i felt the bowel movements, the pain, and the guilt of knowing that i could shit myself at any moment, I even had to stop myself from laughing due to the fear of laughing so hard that i shit myself. When we got there I ran into the back door and jumped into the bathroom and fireworks show out of my ass, while tony went upstairs and discovered that he had never even picked his business cards up off the table. Feeling much better I stepped out the door with tony and we proceeded to make our way toward Sanford winery.
After two hours we finally made it to our first winery, walking in there was a feeling of hope. That feeling of hope was quickly lost. The poorers at this winery were the most dull people I have ever met, they made the experience more awkward than that dream where you show up to school with no cloths on. Everyone at Sanford winery should be shot.
2006 Chardonnay, Santa Barbara County-terrible
2006 La Rinconanda Vineyard Chardonnay, Santa Rita Hills-Very thick, a hint of bailies
2007 Pinot Noir-Vin Gris Santa Barbara County- the same after taste as robotussin
2005 Pinot Nior Santa Rita Hills-New car smell, with a touch of light pepper
20006 Pinoy Noir Santa Rita Hills-Bitter, Raspberries, Jam, Short
Leaving there we made our way to Mosby winery to taste Italian grapes that were harvested in California, this was a more interesting experience. The man who served us was obviously well liquored up himself, and wore a nice hells angel style cowboy hat. Almost every wine we tasted there was better than what we tasted at Sanford, and being able to speak with people that weren't socially retarded was a bonus. I will be visiting them again.
2004 Sangiovese- papery sweet, diluted aregino, bitter end
2005 Ossessione- leather smell, goes down too quick, oak
2005 Teroldego- rose smell, spice, pepper, finish sucks
2004 La Seduzione- gravy, Cuban cigar, fresh bell pepper
At the final winery we were served by some illegal immigrant whore. Her act was pretty decent until the end of out tasting when I asked top try the wine that I was ready to buy and the whore accused me of being a fucking drunk, but I quickly replied that if she did not want me to buy anything today then she could continue acting like a fucking Nazi. She let up, and let me taste the pino, which i quickly purchased and left.
SRH Chardonnay- citrus, oranges, a slight bit of vanilla
Lafond Vineyard Chardonnay- apple, parrot, lent
SRH Pinot Noir- Bitter, Pepper
Arita Hills Vineyard Pinot Noir- fruit, bitter body
SHR Syrah- fruit, pepper, light, bitter
Lafond Vineyard Syrah/Grenache- terrible, stale, bitter