Friday, May 30, 2008

From Lompoc to Los Olivos

It had been the worst of days, it had been the best of days. On the way to the first winery, we saw a kitty cat on the side of the road, we decided this would be a perfect opportunity to get in touch with nature. We pulled over and rolled up to the kitten to pet it, when we got out we couldn't find the kitten, we figured it climbed a tree. After searching this tree with no hope we came back to the car to proceed with our trip, underneath our back right wheel was the kitten flattened with blood draining from its dead body all the way across the road. We decided not to pet it.

We pulled up to our first winery."starline" of the day with refreshing memories of our prior visit 2 weeks before. We were quickly greated by a napa valley man whom we recruited as our poorer. He was obviosly of much higher intelect than any poorers we had delt with on the previos day, which was a great treat. This winery poors 2 differnt vinyards; Starline, and Three Saints; me and tony enjoyed both but prefered the tree saints, which happens to be cheaper. We decided to buy some of the three saints, but it was too hot out and the wine would have gone bad in the car, so we didn't.

2005 Three Saints Pinot Noir- nice body, tart, bitter, spicey, chalky 75

2005 Three Saints Merlot- chalk, bitter, dry 65

2005 Three Saints Cabernet- chalk, dry, empty, causes hangovers, diaria, vomiting 35

2005 Dierberg Pinot Noir- very tart, very bitter, blue cheese 61

2005 Star Lane Cabernet- poperee nose, cherry, dry 62

The next winery we decided to go to was called Brander, this is not worth me typing about. If you like grapefruit mixed with rubbing alcahal then go to brander, and then shoot yourself.

Bridlewood however was a much more pleasant experience, the poorers there recognized us from another winery in the region and decided to treat us to the reserves that arnt on the tasting sheet. This winery is worth going to, however becarefull where you step. While in the back of the winery, me and tony were trying to spook this horse by throwing rocks at it. Everything was going great until we actualy did spook the horse but it ran toward tony, who ran without looking where he was going and hit wooden fence, this is normal, but unfortunatly he landed on a pile of shit when he hit the ground. After we threw his coat into the feeding trof, we decided to jump that back fence and leave just incase anyone witnessed what we did.

2006 Reserve Viognier- apple, peas, mineral 70

2005 Arabesque- faint smell, watery, light cherry, spice 77

2004 Reserve Syrah- blackberrry nose, mild palet, peppery, tart finish 69

2004 Six Gun Syrah- soft leather nose, downy, vanilla on the finish 65

2006 Estate Zinfandel- stale poperee, toasted, blackberry, light pepper 76

2004 Secret Syrah- perfume nose, verry soft, dark chocolate, interesting finish, "MILF KILLER" wine 85 *


Beckmen Vineyards was as sucleded as Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch. We were buzzed and it was very difficult to locate but when we did, oh what a treat. When we entered the tasting room and walked up to the wine bar we were greeted by an old man who looked like he had been to seventeen winenries. He started to questioned us about where we were tasting but then began to stare at our crotches with lust in his eyes. Once we got past the creepy old guy and began to taste the wine we found that the reserve reds were quite pleasant, nothing spectacular but good enough to want to taste there again. Beckmen specialized in big Cabs, spicy Syrah's, and creepy intoxicated old men who probably ran over a small child with his car as he preceded to his eighteenth winery.

2005 Purisima Mountain Vinyard Atelier- damp mud, structure of grass 74

2005 Barrel Select Syrah- blueberry nose, fruity, jammy, vanilla, new shoes 64

2005 Purisima Mountain Vinyard Cabernet- suttle fruit, berry nose, tart,sour finish 85 *

2005 Purisima- portesque nose, complex, suttle tart, sour, no body 73

The modo at the next winery we went to should be, "if your going to produce shit, produce lots of it" At Blackjack, we discovered a giant assortment of failure which could be compared to that of the titanic. The lady that poured for us obviously had no idea what makeup was because her dirty face nearly blinded us while she blabbered on about some movie that they filmed 6 seconds of there. She poured us 13 fucking wines, and they pretty much all tasted the same, they could have jsut poured them all into one glass and made the tasting shorter.

Im just going to rate the entire winery a 60

On our way back home we decided to drop by Foley, the estate that recently purchased Firestone winery, which is fucking retarded. Now we had both been to Foley before, however last time we went there we were blacked out drunk from tasting at 9 wineries. The wine here was quite exceptional, however the crowed resembled that of a Mighty Ducks game, with no tact or class they bickered on about pointless subjects like kids in a second grade class room. I have too much class to have to explain to some bitch that you cant take a 1.5 liter bottle of wine on a plane as ur fucking carry on luggage. One man even went as far to touch tony on is lower back, perhaps in some sort of a secret invitation to his secret gay cave of wine tasting.

2007 Chardonnay Steel- fruity, tingley, mineraly 69

2006 Chardonnnay Cline- cream, pinaple 60

2006 Pinot Noir- sweet, syrup, smokey, pepper, bitter 80 *

2006 Syrah- perfect body, balanced tart, peppery finish 75

2 comments:

Erin said...

i hope you poured alittle out for the dead homie kitty.

Candy said...

Maybe it's vanity but this feels like a direct assault. Hunter S. Thompson is smiling in his grave. Bring it. More.