Cultural Retardation

This day had begun with the intention of tasting at two or three places and then going back home, but slowly as they day went on it degenerated into some sort tangled web of cultural retardation. It all started in los olivos, where we managed to happen across a place known as "Rdeau Bon"...

At this place, our pourer seamed at first to be a verry intelligent yet snobbish individual, but we soon discovered that there are verry differnt levels of snobishness in the wold. He guided us through the tasting sheet and about half way through we were about to swtich to reds, so he offered us to get some bread from the table in the back. While doing so the guy leans over the fucking table to see what my scores are (which were realy bad) and when we get back, he says nothing, and treats us exactly the same as before. I wondered how a snob might handle this type of situtaion, i figured a winey hissyfit would insue, i was wrong. I asked what his favorite wine on the tasting sheet was, and he stretched out is hand to point at it, exept instead of pointing with his index finger, he took the oppertunity to flip me off while showing me his favorite wine. And the whole time maintaining the same snoby fake smile and tone of voice as if nothing had changed. Welcome to the world of passive agressive winetasting.

2006 Siempre Sauvignon Blanc- shitty finish, apple sauce taste, weak body 65

2006 Lagniappe White- smells of sweet bleach, goes down with a smooth body 73

2006 Estate Viognier- soil present in the tast, tast to sharp, similar to meridian 65

2006 Estate Gernash- reminescent of the fealing of getting high off acrylic paint 79 *


Buttonwood on the other hand was verry pleasant experience. The gril serving us was pretty chill and they had these paintings on the walls that didnt make any since at all so we had a good conversation piece, it gets boring talking about wine when you drink it everyday. The best part about this place was the descriptions they had of there wines on the tasting sheet, like "sunshine in a bottle" or "a walk through the woods". and the best part, the girl at this winery didnt even flip us off.

2004 Merlot- steamy, smokey, and smooth 75

2004 Cabernet Franc- a taste of almond, with a spicy finish, structure 70

2003 Cabernet Sauvignon- cinimin, packs a punch, wholesome 70

2005 Pinot Noir- smooth eligant body, lingering pine finish 85 *

We proceeded down the road until we got to Solvang. Solange is basically a polish town in the middle of fucking california, now I dont know what these fucking poled were thinking when they decided to start breeding here, but I can only decribe the fealing of being there as "being raped of my own culture". We stopped first at a little tasting room known as Trio, our server here seamed like qite an accomplished gentlemen, he told us that he had once scaled the french alps, walked across the united states, and he had lived with aberiginies in australia for an entire year. We congratulated him for being the worlds most outgoing human being and then tasted a couple wines. Tony liked the Itallian Cianti, and he bought it.

2005 Pinot Noir- a taste of herbs and salt blended to perfection, a finsh of pepper 81 *

2003 Di Bruno Sangiovese- structure, earthy body, wholesome finsh 90 *

We stumbled down the street and randomly walked into some place called Addamo. I could tell right away there was something big about this place, mainly the pourer's breasts. Unforunatly they were very new so they didnt have tasting sheets yet, so she gave us legal pads to write our notes on. I would say that Trio was a lot better.

2004 Big Boy Pinot Noir- light pussy, balanced 60

2004 Pinot Noir- spicy water 70

2005 Pinot Noir- watered down, shitty 55

2005 Reserve- spicey, bitter, arregino 72

2005 Dolcatto- confusion, dizzy 55

Finally the last winey of the day: Lincourt. Now at lincourt they pair wines with differnt greek olives. At this point in time i was already to drunk to realize that this would be a mistake. but then to mix up the situation even more, this 90 year old german guy walks in adn sits down. I have 4 years of schooling in germen so i thought id try and say hello. Our drunk germen conversation quickly began to irritate the entire tasting room. Looking around my head began to wobble as i contemplated this moment, were sitting in California in a Polish town eating Greek olives and speaking Germen, then I ask tony where we should eat dinner, Italian he says...

2006 Pinot Noir- earthy, with a spicy bitter finsh 65

2006 Syrah- body, dark chocolate, bitter sweet, spicy finsh 70